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To Gracey, Four Years Later.

This entry is part 15 of 15 in the series Messages to Gracey
crouching gracey 600

Gracey, My Heart Cat

There was a power outage the night my mother died. Stumbling around in the dark, looking for a candle, a flashlight, any source of light seemed appropriate.  I don’t remember much about driving home in the wee hours of the morning but I remember cresting the hill and where there were usually lights scattered out across the city there was only darkness. No lighted path home, only pitch black and heartache.

Twenty years later the anniversary of her death brings a sense of foreboding that has waned but still lurks. I accept deep sorrow never disappears. Crisp memories become a bit blurred and  pain transitions from sharp to dull, but things are never the same and the hurt never completely goes away.

It has been over a month since the four year anniversary of losing you.  I sat down many times to write but just couldn’t get the words out.  The sky is dark and foreboding.  A storm is brewing, and I am sitting here in pitch black with heartache.

Next month will be the eight year anniversary of  The Tiniest Tiger and that just doesn’t seem possible. This past year so many friends we met when we first started  have now crossed the Rainbow Bridge too. When I see the news on Facebook, my heart sinks knowing how much it hurts to lose our little family members.

It is pouring rain and that makes me happy because this means I won’t have to water the garden tonight.  Isn’t that just plain lazy?  The sky is brightening now and only a light sprinkle lingers.  Annie is keeping me company in the office.  The boys were in the sunroom until the rain got too loud and they both bolted down the steps to hide in the basement.  Here is a photo of  Mercy and Eddie planning to run from the rain.

Mercy and Eddie getting ready to run

Time just keeps marching on and we keep trying to move forward the best we can.  We will celebrate Annie and Eddie’s 4 Year Adoption Day Anniversary soon.  That doesn’t seem possible.  They are still best friends and help make every day better for us.

Annie on Bad Kitty

Annie standing on Bad Kitty’s head.

Earlier, Annie was standing on Bad Kitty’s head to get a better view of the birds on the feeder in the front yard.  As you can see in the photo, she had a little bit of an attitude when I interrupted her to take this photo.

Sometimes I see Annie and she reminds me so much of you.

Annie and Bad Kitty

Bad Kitty telling Annie a story about Gracey

Mostly it makes me feel happy, but sometimes it still tugs at my heart too.  I love you both.

Gracey, The Tiniest Tiger and Bad Kitty

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  • katboxjanitor

    Gracey was beautiful and the way you celebrate her memory and life is wonderful. You shared Tiny ways you celebrated her life and mourned her passing.

    It has been interesting during the last couple weeks. I have had vivid recollections and impressions of my dear Marbles who passed 3 years ago this week. I miss some of her quirks and her wheezy, rumbly purrs. It also means the 5th anniversary of Toes, her sister from another mother crossing the rainbow bridge.

    Those memories help me treasure the uniqueness of my current gentleman feline companion, Kai. He was a housemate with Tiny Timmy for a few months before I recognized my next forever friend.

  • Sweet Gracey. Hugs from Baylie and me.

  • Corlyn Speake Altier

    <3

  • The Tiniest Tiger was one of the first pages I followed after I started my Facebook page, and Gracey was one of Lola and Lexy’s firs “friends”. I can’t believe it has been four years since she left. I hope it brings you comfort to know how many hearts she touched.

  • katsrus

    She was a special kitty. Hugs.
    Sue B

  • Patchycat

    A few months ago a stray gave birth to kittens in our side garden. We scooped up the kittens & trapped her that night. We called her Mama at first, but after getting her cleaned up we changed her name to Gracey because I thought she looked like her. The kittens all have homes now. Gracey is vaccinated, fixed, & safe in our guest room. She’s still skittish, but clearly was someone’s love before being tossed aside. We hope to acclimate her back to family life so she can be adopted. If she stays a little wild she’ll just stay here with us.

  • tannawings

    All leave pawprints on our hearts. I have always believed animals don’t live as long because they are pure love. Some try staying past their time just for us, but eventually the time comes and we says goodbye. I seems like so many goodbyes………. little pieces of our hearts goes with them .
    My thoughts are with you, peace, light & love.

  • What a wonderful tribute to Gracey.

  • Jean Shea

    Agh. We never stop missing them. Their absence is always there. Sometimes you can ignore or set it aside. Other times, events will bring back a memory and it’s as if it just happened. My sister-in-law moved her mother into a care facility, and it brought back a dark night, literally and figuratively for me during the last year of her life when I moved her into a care facility. It was so obvious she was never going to come back to her place, and it was so painful to think that our best times were in the past. Blessings, to you all as you remember your loved ones.

  • My human remembers when Gracie passed away, and what a sad time that was. Purrs to you as you remember her.

  • Karma Lynn Hurworth

    Gracey holds such a special place in my heart. If not for her, I would have never heard about Big Cat Rescue. Now I work there full time, helping all cats big and small. You will never be forgotten, dear Gracey, and I will always be grateful to you.

  • Sherri H

    I was thinking of you last month, remembering how I came home after a weekend away and learned of Gracey’s passing … I just burst into tears as if I had lost one of my own. She was so special. I still have her picture on my fridge because she’s just so darn cute! And there was just something about her … maybe because she and my Claude looked so much alike, I felt it was just good cat karma. Just like the good Cat Lady Karma we share! Since then I have lost Claude and Trixie and gained Emma and Pumpkin, who is sitting in a sunny window next to me breathing her squeaky purr as she snoozes away. I agree with Susan Marie — we’ll meet those furry companions again someday, somehow. And they’ll run to greet us.

  • Susan Marie

    Please accept my sincere condolences for your dear kitty. I do believe that some day, in the hereafter, that we will be with our loved ones again, of course including our dear companion animals. I feel your pain, glad you have shared your feelings from your heart, it helps to remember all the wonderful times we have shared with them.

  • databbiesotrouttowne

    Gracey; we did not have the honor of knowing you; that is our loss. We send hugs and love to mom, dad, mercy, annie & eddie. We hope mom knows, were you to speak “human”, the first thing you would say to her would be, “I love you too mom, and I always will ” ???